My birth story!

I know not everyone cares about a birth story, but I can say I have become extremely interested in them and they were a big part of my preparation for my birth journey! If anything, this will be for my memory and to share with Eloise in the future. Also, no matter how a mama delivers her baby, she is still a warrior and a MOM ♡

Being pregnant and delivering during a global pandemic was interesting enough in itself, but also on top of some other unexpected turns really prepared us for the unknowns of being parents! This birth story will be somewhat quick due to the fact that this went no way of how I was hoping or planning. Throughout my pregnancy I was imagining and hoping for a natural, unmedicated birth. I was meeting with Midwives throughout the pregnancy, was eating healthy, working out and sleeping great. Our little Eloise was growing great and head down position (which I was so relieved about!) Nick and I would always feel her move and her hiccups very low in my pelvis, especially towards the end. Due to COVID, and me being ‘low risk’, I was going in for actual appointments about every two weeks instead of every week toward the very end. This was fine and I didn’t really care since I was ‘low risk’ and healthy. Eloise was due Wednesday, June 24th, and I was feeling some light braxton hicks contractions on and off for about a week or two prior to the birth week. I went in for my 39 week appointment on Friday, June 19th and my Midwife was a little concerned that my belly didn’t grow too much since the last appointment. Her initial thought was that there could be limited amniotic fluid in the belly, so she scheduled for me to get an ultrasound. I was of course worried that something was wrong and little babe could be harmed, so I scheduled it right away for Monday, June 22nd. 

At that ultrasound appointment, the technician was doing her job great and checking everything out. She gave the confirmation that the fluid looked good and was taking a bunch of pictures. Casually, I asked, “She’s head down right?” and she answered with a quick, “No she’s head up, her head is right here under your ribs” and kept moving along with the appointment. It took everything in me to hold back my tears. How could this happen?! When did this happen?! I was so confused and knew what was likely going to happen due to her being in a breech position (feet down), a cesarean section. She left to get an OBGYN doctor due to this being a surprise to me and when she came back in the room I was crying. With it being COVID, Nick wasn’t allowed at any appointments with me past 20 weeks, so I found out this news alone. I know in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal to many, and some of you might be thinking what’s the big deal? But when you were planning and prepping for something for 9 months and then it gets flipped upside down and the opposite of everything you wanted (no medication to multiple medications/procedures), you get a little shaken up! 

The doctor came in and he was very nice and trying to comfort me (probably confused why I was so upset). He was telling me that we could do the surgery tonight since he is available and on call. This made me start crying harder because I was not ready or prepared to have this major surgery done and I sure wasn’t going to commit to a time without even talking to Nick. I just said no and I remember blocking the rest of the conversation out. I left the appointment, called Nick crying and telling him the news. We got a call back from the hospital that it is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9 AM. So I had a little over 12 hours to mentally prepare for this surgery. Nick, my family and friends were all so sweet with encouraging me, sending me prayers, positive thoughts and messages, which did help during the night where I was barely getting any sleep. I know some people actually prefer this way to deliver, but I was terrified of needles, all of the medications I would have to take before, during and after, the longer recovery/postpartum changes, the possibility of digestive issues for both me and baby and the fear of breast milk not coming in due to not allowing my body’s natural hormones producing and releasing milk.

The next morning we got up around 5 AM, finalized packing the bags and Nick ate breakfast and was being so positive and encouraging (I had to fast prior to the surgery the night before). I felt a little robbed from the experience because I was still nervous the morning of and distracted from what this day was going to bring us, our miracle, healthy baby! We did have some wonderful nurses who helped prep me for surgery and help distract me (to the best of their ability). We were all ready for surgery that was scheduled for 9 AM and at 8:55 AM, the nurses came in saying they might have to delay the surgery for 2 hours until my COVID test results came back. Instant tears. I couldn’t wait another 2 hours for my mental sanity! (Ok I could, but I was thirsty, hungry, tired, nervous and anxious to meet our baby!). Luckily they came in and said they are just going to act like I have COVID and carry on with the scheduled time. 

The experience was interesting and nothing of what I imagined my birth to be. I won’t get too into the details (unless some are interested in C-Sections, comment below!), but at 9:47 AM our little, healthy, beautiful baby Eloise Noelle was born! Nick got to see her and hold her right away. He brought her over to me on the table and I was so incredibly emotional and relieved she was healthy and that this part was over. I did get emotional talking about the birth the next couple days, but now looking back, I am grateful that I didn’t go through an intense labor and then find out she was feet down and needed an emergency cesarean and now June 23rd is seen as the best day of my life instead of heightened with negative thoughts or fear! Overall, recovery has been different than what I was expecting and difficult in the sense of being more restricted for 6 weeks compared to the usual 4 weeks with vaginal deliveries. I am taking it easy and making sure that I will be able to be my best for her once the 6 weeks are up!

Would I do another cesarean again if I had the choice?
This is tricky question, but I have been asked that multiple times! I think whatever is meant to be will happen, but I do wonder what contractions would feel like, getting to feel everything, getting to have her placed right on my chest and not be hooked up to a million things and having Nick and I get to experience this more intimately instead of multiple people in the operating room. I will say the good thing about a cesarean was knowing exactly when she was coming into the world and knowing that these doctors have done this many, many times and are well prepared. Both have their pros and cons, but overall I will say I would like to experience a natural birth hopefully someday!

**Also, shout out to the mom’s who look beautiful, get ready after delivering your baby and take wonderful pictures 👏. I was so out of it and emotionally exhausted I just wanted all of the baby snuggles and skin to skin time. Maybe next birth I will try to get better the day of pictures!

After Nick saw this picture he thinks he should change careers to be a doctor, thoughts?? 🤣