Postpartum changes and Transitions
Relationship changes:
In a lot of ways, having a baby is a lot like starting a new relationship all over again. You are experiencing this newness with someone and you are more mindful and present with each other and each other's needs. Something you hear a lot while being pregnant or just from older couples, “oh things will change once you have kids!”. I never was sure what they meant by that, but now being a month+ into this new chapter, I definitely agree things do change. For us, I’d say it has been a fun, positive change! Nick has even mentioned it seems like we are newly dating again because we are experiencing this new change and little baby together and lets be honest, she takes up most of our conversations and time :) What has been helpful is to really tag team tasks around the house and communicate. We were a pretty good team before having Eloise, but now that I am exclusively breastfeeding on demand, aka he can’t help in that department, we communicate what we would like to do/get done around the house. For him, that has been cooking, cleaning and laundry and for me, nursing her, changing and cleaning up after us when I can. Honestly, we haven’t fought since she was born, okay the first bath we both were a little tense with each other, but this has been an overall special time for us! I think hearing Nick compliment me everyday on how good of a mom I am is also really encouraging to hear and also thanking him for all he is doing for her and myself.
Took this picture about 6 or 7 weeks postpartum
Weight Gain/Weight Loss during pregnancy and postpartum:
Something I stopped doing years ago was constantly weighing myself as an indicator of ‘health’. I would say I used to have an unhealthy mindset with that being the primary focus or goal of my ‘health’ journey, when in reality it wasn’t doing anything except causing me to focus on a number that didn’t dictate my strength or progress. Prior to getting pregnant, I did know the general ballpark of where I was for weight and can say that since the beginning of my appointments where I would get weighed until the very end, I gained around 25-30 lbs during pregnancy. I’m not going to say this was ‘easy’ to see the number going up on the scale (which I think happens to anyone who is hyperfocused on the scale versus other measures of health that is why I am team #NoScale). What I would remind myself is that my body is growing a healthy baby, which is a true miracle in itself! I think that my own growth mindset shift on weight in general for many years prior to getting pregnant helped me not focus on that part of my pregnancy journey. I was actually surprised with how OK I was with my body growing and changing while being pregnant, but I did work on reminding myself of what my body was doing and tried to not compare my body to others, which is always helpful! In regard to other body changes, I didn’t get or notice any stretch marks throughout the entire pregnancy until the last week or two. I started to get some light stretch marks around my belly button, which I didn’t think were too big of a deal, I was just ready to finally meet my little babe outside of me!
Postpartum has been the time where I actually notice more focus on my body in general (forcibly so) but also more negative thoughts popping in, especially within the first couple weeks. They say on average you still will look about 6 months or so pregnant right after giving birth. I read this and knew this, but experiencing it still felt weird! I still had a little belly, the linea nigra (black line) and couldn’t feel my stomach around the incision (due to having a cesarean where your nerves and muscles are separated) on top of feeling very weak and sore in my stomach.
I went in for my two week postpartum appointment, which they weigh you again of course, and I was shocked to see the scale down about 20 lbs. Again, something I wasn’t super concerned or focused on at the moment but I was surprised in the two weeks how much my body was already changing, although I didn’t look anything like my pre-pregnancy weight (another reason why you shouldn’t be focusing on the scale as your main health goal!!!). This is a good reminder how adaptable and resilient our bodies truly are! When I thought about what factors likely contributed to this quick weight loss was a couple things: 1: of course the baby and all of the fluids/organs that came with her, 2: eating a nutrient rich diet during pregnancy and postpartum right away, 3: night sweats that come postpartum (something I did not know about nor expect!), 4: going for my daily walks and 5: muscle loss with the start of COVID not being able to go to the gym and then just continued muscle loss. Again, I am definitely eager to start working out and getting some of my muscle/strength back, but I am mostly focused on taking it slow to make sure I will heal properly and be able to work out strong without any future injuries! I am a person who has developed a healthy relationship with fitness and truly enjoy it for building strength and for my mental health, so it has been difficult to not have that part of my routine. Some days it is difficult to see how my body is still so different and how you still look ‘pregnant’ after due to your body working so hard to get all of the organs and muscles back together (how amazing!). I notice some judgment thoughts of myself and then realize that I am the only one who cares about how my body looks right now, and if others do, who cares! It doesn’t change anything or affect me at all. I’m just grateful to have a healthy babe, body and be recovering well! Plus, Eloise could care less how her mama looks ❤️
Things I did throughout my pregnancy to help me with postpartum:
Worked out ~ 5x a week on average - strength training in my basement (#COVID)
Daily walks (hit around 10,000 steps almost daily - I actually had neighbors come out and tell me they knew I was likely delivering due to not seeing me walk for 3+ days in a row 🤣)
Ate nutrient dense foods to nourish me and the baby and had collagen in smoothies or coffee daily to help my growing belly and skin
Prepared expectations for labor, birth and postpartum to help me mentally prepare and focus on the positives!
**If you feel you have an unhealthy relationship with the scale or want to work on finding other measures of health, work on preparing for pregnancy or are pregnant, let's chat or work together to find a healthier approach and balance!
I’m curious to hear about others postpartum experience, feelings, thoughts and changes! Comment below 😊