First Month with a newborn
Little Eloise was 5 days old here!
If you aren’t already a homebody and enjoy spending a lot of time with your significant other, you will likely become one and adjust :)
This has taken me a while to write this up and organize my thoughts about this magical time. Being a mom is THE BEST. There is seriously nothing better than your little baby sleeping on your chest and the morning cuddles in bed. Sure, it comes with its challenging days, but to me, the good outweighs the difficult days by far! Being a mom is basically wanting to put your baby down for a nap and then 2 minutes later wanting them to wake up and cuddle in your arms 😂 It still is crazy for me to say the word mom and have myself be associated with it. Motherhood has been so good for me in so many different ways. I am usually more of a ‘serious’, Type ‘A’ person I would say and being a mom has changed (decreased) both of those traits about me, in good ways! I wake up everyday with a smile and just stare at her sleeping so sweet and the fact that I get to spend all day with this little cutie! I walk around the house talking to her in goofy voices, singing to her and laughing at (with) her all day long.
Let me start by saying, we have no clue what we are doing but we just go with our natural mom/dad instinct of what the baby needs instead of doing ‘what we should be doing’ according to the books/articles. I could probably count changing a diaper less than 20 times before having Eloise 🤷. We really didn’t have any routine or schedule during the first month. I was exclusively breastfeeding on demand whenever she wanted to nurse and she would sleep a lot and whenever she wanted during the days (most of the time in my or others arms!) I seriously wonder where the days go and time seems to be going so incredibly fast during the first month (and my whole maternity leave in general).
The first month with our little Eloise was such a special time where we were just getting to know each other and adjusting to life with our new love! Navigating and learning something completely new to you, while getting to know someone at the same time isn’t that simple to begin with. I honestly thought I was going to be more irritable and crabby compared to what I actually am with a broken sleep routine and less quality sleep prior to Eloise. If you asked Nick, this was the thing he was most worried about with having a baby because I love and value my sleep so much 😂. I am pleased to say that I have not been crabby or irritable and I almost am more happy each day! Being a mom is such a selfless job with so much unconditional love toward another little human ♡
Sleep
Continuing with sleep and adjustments, she right away would sleep a lot during the day and we didn’t think much of it, because newborns are supposed to sleep a lot right? Yes, but we started to realize that her sleeping straight up until we were ready for bed wasn’t the best case scenario. We slowly started to adjust with some consistency and would try tummy time and other things to keep her a little more awake the hours leading up before our bed time. Let me say, Nick and I were already basically grandparents and go to bed anywhere between 8-9 PM every night and are naturally early risers. We have our own established night time routine and ‘winding down’ time so we started implementing this early on for her to get adjusted to night time from day time (very common for newborns to get the two mixed up). Something I know not everyone agrees with and has some controversy is co-sleeping, but again, every mom knows what works for them and their baby. I’d say a couple times a week after a middle of the night/early morning feed, I would bring her into bed to sleep with me the last couple hours of the night until the morning when I knew Nick was getting up shortly after. I am a light sleeper anyway and I would put a pillow between my legs while sleeping on my side (a safe position). This worked well for me and Eloise and there is absolutely nothing more cute than a newborn cuddled up next to you sleeping peacefully.
Eloise slowly started to learn early on as she got a little older is that she doesn’t really like to nap, very similar to both of her parents! After a month of realizing we never really ‘put her down’ in a crib/bassinet/etc. for a nap, we started to try to implement this into her days. Some days it would last only 10-20 minutes of her sleeping alone in her room, but it started to become more successful the more we implemented it. Every baby is different, but something I would definitely try to start earlier on, especially if starting day care or other transitions in the future (an overtired baby can cause them to stay up and be very irritable!).
Feeding
Something that I also did during her first couple weeks was googling everything she ‘should be doing’ or how much she should be feeding. Which involves, sleeping X amount of hours a day and only feeding every 2-3 hours. That may be true on some days, but let me tell you, there were days I literally didn’t leave the couch (besides to grab quick meals/snacks and bathroom) because she was cluster feeding and just needed more! This is totally normal and healthy (Also more newborn snuggles for you 😊) Some advice I was told by some wise mama’s was that even though you are a new mom, you do know what is best for your baby! When I first heard this I had my doubts, but it is so true! I had no prior experience with newborns, or even babies really for the most part, but I am doing my best and giving her all of the love and things she needs to be a happy, healthy baby! She would wake every 2-3 hours hours right away to feed during the night, with the occasional night of every 1.5 hours in the first two weeks 🤣.
I have always heard that breastfeeding is hard and I was always thinking in my head of what that could mean. For me, I was so lucky that my milk came in right away and Eloise latched right away in the hospital without any difficulties and she did not have any tongue or lip ties! I had some sore nipples the first couple days (to be expected) but then they adjusted quickly as did Eloise and myself! I am so grateful for this because as some of you may know, sometimes women who deliver by cesarean have difficulties with their milk production/latching. I can’t tell you how many times in the first month of her being home with us I was eating my own meal, while holding her up breastfeeding 😂. Thankfully this worked out and we already got her used to the importance of family meals I guess! I was told to wait to start pumping until at least 4 weeks/1 month to make sure breastfeeding is going well. I did do this and it worked out for me, however, I have also heard of increasing your supply if you start earlier than this and the benefits of that. I started to pump around 5 weeks and I was getting .5 oz a time and feeling very discouraged. After doing research, listening to podcasts and reading blogs, I found out this is very common when first starting to pump. This was a relief and gave me encouragement to keep trying! Now I am still breastfeeding her on demand when she wants and trying to pump at least 1 time, sometimes 2 times a day with the hope to start building a stash for when I go back to work or if something happens where my supply suddenly stops or decreases.
Some tips that have been helpful during the first month:
The only ‘night time routine’ we had was keeping the lights dim and quiet the last 30 minutes-1 hour before she goes to bed. I also will get her ready in this order: change her diaper, swaddle her and then nurse her before bed when she is getting drowsy. Doing it in this order allows her to get sleepy and even sometimes drift off to sleep without having to wake her up to change her diaper again before bed.
Let go of expectations and your desired plans for the day. I remember getting a little frustrated because I wanted to clean up the house on the days she would be cluster feeding and I was forced to be glued to the couch. Making sure to have water and snacks and your computer or something else to occupy you while nursing and just taking in these moments with your newborn.
I try to get outside in the morning with her before it gets too hot and to also help her get used to the brightness during the day and then keeping it dark in our room before bed.
Having Nick take her in the morning after an early morning feed so I can get another solid hour or so of good sleep before he leaves for work or even if he is home for the day (he wakes up at the crack of dawn daily and did before we had her).
Have your significant other (Nick) wash any pumping supplies in the morning so it was ready for me during the day when needed.
Dress your baby in a layer of clothes less than you’d wear if it’s hot, and a layer more if it’s cold. Since I sweat easy in general, I’m assuming she could have gotten some of that from me, so I honestly just keep her in a diaper most days when it’s just her and I home (less laundry too!).
GIVE YOURSELF GRACE and surrender to your baby’s schedule!! Something that has made things so much easier for the both of us! This means if we don’t get out for our morning walk until 10 AM, I didn’t finish my ‘morning smoothie’ until 11 AM or if we stayed on the couch most of the day that’s okay!
With pumping, making sure you are relaxed and can watch/do something to distract you with positive things/things that bring you joy (especially in the beginning). I didn’t enjoy pumping and feeling hooked up to a bunch of cords, so I think that negatively effected my supply/amount in the beginning. I make sure to try to pump mid morning after I already fed her or after lunch where I have had plenty of liquids and good nutrient dense meals!
Current Update:
I’m writing this as Eloise is 10 weeks old and so much has changed! This is SUCH a fun time with a baby! She is smiling so much at us, so content and curious with her surroundings and growing up so much each day 😭She is napping during the day like a rockstar and can put herself to sleep, sleeping on average in 4+ hour chunks at night, takes the bottle when needed, loves looking around, grabbing things, sooo close to laughing and following things, us, our voices, loves bath time and is so strong with tummy time and holding up her neck so high/long.